Posts Tagged ‘Ramblings’
The notebook, Part II.
A few more pages after the jump. Enjoy.
Crushing the barriers
Now it’s time to crush the barriers, time to relieve everything, no secrets, no embarrassment, no rejection. Time to not hold back at anything at all, time to care about myself. I care enough about everybody to be called a saint, I love my friends more than life, I love my girl, more than anything. I love life but without any of you I would be just me, just a little piece of shit in a dumpster. Well, not that bad but something like that. I’m fuckin’ awesome, all because of you all. These past days I’ve been writing and writing but nothing has come out of it but it has not been a waste of time, ’cause every written word means something special, certain meanings of life. But all 15 drafts I have written are all containing at most 5 words each, just like a stone has fell on my head and making me not remembering how to do but as always, things always turn out to be quite good at the end.
Out of my hibernation
I had to do it. My previous post, The facts was just my negative side talking and whenever I write from that angle, things always gets easier. All I have to do is to be negative about things in my life, just spit them out and vóila I’m out of my hibernation, pretty great, right? The feeling of not being enough is always haunting me, don’t know why, that’s just the way I am but I feel so powerless without having my ability to write words, the words that someday will change my life. I’ve been kinda’ lazy lately not trying hard enough but I’m about to change that, all I need now is some energy. I need the sun, now more than ever. Enough about the sun and it’s energizing capabilities.
The facts
This week I’ve written 13 drafts and none of them are published, shame on me. It feels like I’ve hit a brick wall going 100 mph. And my head feels both heavy and empty, a sort of emptiness I haven’t felt for quite some while now. But it always comes back to this, me feeling the emptiness and things coming in the way of my writing, crazy things. I think it’s my head playing some mind tricks on me, forcing me to fail with my own goals just so that I can start from the beginning. I hate it but I’ve learned to live with it.
Fucking awesome
Here it goes again, late night at work. Better go to bed but I want to share something, just an idea I had that I really can’t explain. All these ideas are fucking my mind up, I want to share something but it’s not really any idea just because my mind works in mysterious ways and I hate promising something to myself and others, that I may never even do. It sucks big donkey penis, yes it does. I’m not good at this, especially not at this hour my head and eyes are requiring a pillow and I hate to sleep it’s a fucking waste of time it’s nice but I don’t like it anyways. So somethings are going to change just like I’ve promised before but as always they aren’t finished but hopefully they will be finished in a short amount of time so that I can start concentrating solely on my writing and nothing else. Now I have to go to sleep (Interesting? No!) I really do. Good night and good luck, I’m drifting away towards the land of dreams as I’m singing a lullaby to myself, gosh what a beautiful voice I have…fucking awesome.
Up the game
Last day of the first week of the new year. This day is about to set the bar for the rest of the days and weeks coming this year. If I do alright, it will work out fine if I do good, well then I have been on a roll for quite some time now. Climbing and climbing towards my goal. Hush now. I hope to give you all something special later today, you all know it’s January 4th and it’s time to up the game a bit.
Bye, for now!
